Racing Thoughts: Thirty Hours Of Pain
by Gothic-Romantic99
Summary: The thoughts that are running through Shelly's mind during her thirty hour struggle.


Disclaimer: I do not own The Crow.

Author's Note: This is the summary of what Shelly is experiencing while in the hospital. Several times it mentions her feeling guilty for making Eric wait and that refers to her being lied to about Eric's condition. I think the main reason she fought for so long is because she was mislead into believing Eric was okay and wanted to get better for him.

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Hour One:

Eric, I can't see you. My eyes are blurred. I can't hear your voice. I only smell smoke. I can still feel their horrid breath upon my neck. My head won't release the images of their faces, the grip of their hands. Eric, where are you? He said you were okay. Please, I must see you again. A plastic mask now covers my nose. I can only hear the sirens. Strange faces in gloves and surgical masks hover above me. Their words worry me. "It's a lost cause," one says. Eric, I need you.

Hour Five:

The heart rate machine beeps louder with each second. Many strangers come and go. I have to shut my eyes. Upon each sight of the blue, latex gloves much more red liquid is piled on. Eric, hear my call. Come find me. Are you in the room next door? Are your legs broken? I keep remembering your fall. You fell in silence, no scream. I don't want to see their faces anymore. I don't want to remember those cruel laughs. Their cackling at your agony. Please rush to my side.

Hour Nine:

I can hear the panic of the surgeons. I see the horrified pity in the eyes of the nurses. I can hear those monsters squealing with joy at my pain. But I can't hear you. I can't feel your presence. Eric, where are you? I see the pumpkin fall. I hear Gabriel's shrieking cry. I see you fall upon your knees in front of the gunmen. I see you being lifted and thrown from the window. I hear the glass tinkle on the floor. I can't hear you breathing. But I know you're okay. He told me you were alive. I must hold on for you.

Hour Twelve:

My eyes shut. The muscles are too weak to keep them open anymore. I try to picture your smile but their faces keep clouding my thoughts of you. I have to fight off those memories. I must remember all the times I spent with you, those wonderful eight years. My dearest love I need to fight, for you. I can still feel the ring that decorated my right hand. But I can vividly remember it being harshly pried from my finger. I tried to hold on. Eric, please don't be angry. I tried. I tried. It was only an object, what I feel for you can never be stolen. Please be here when I wake.

Hour Seventeen:

My head is racing. My brain waves dash with my eyes as I fall into slumber. Though I sleep I do not find rest. My head relives that hour. Why won't my mind put it away. I wake to the smell of blood and bandages. My vision is still blurred yet I can hear fast talking and the heart rate machine slowing. I have to change the pathway of my head. I imagine my dress. I gaze upon your smile. I must hold on. I have to hold on. I need to feel the warmth of your arms once more. Hold on until tomorrow. Tomorrow the wait be over. Tomorrow I will finally say "I do."

Hour Twenty:

I can't focus. I keep blacking out. I must still hold on. I will still hold on. I will not give up the war until my body collapses. I will see your face again. It's not an easy battle. I can't give up because you're still alive and well, waiting for me to recover. I know it's selfish to keep you waiting. Only a bit longer. It's getting colder, my head feels damp, my arms feel limp, but my heart beats strong. It beats along to the sound of your name. A name that will soon replace my own.

Hour Twenty-Four:

I'm still running in the race. I can't feel my limbs. I can't move my lips. I'm failing, Eric. The pain increases with every second. The strain is taking over my chest. My head pounds to the sound of the IV drops. My thoughts are fading. My sight is completely gone. All I see is black haze. I still feel a tear fall from my eye, it's sticky residue shining the side of my face. I'm sorry, it's tomorrow and I haven't won. We'll have to delay the wedding. Please forgive me, my love. I wanted very much for this day to come. Please don't hold this against me. I want to hold on. I want to survive. Don't give up on me. I won't give up on you.

Hour Twenty-Eight:

It's over Eric. I can't think anymore. I can't feel anything but a deep burn encasing my flesh. My body is calling it quits. I don't want to surrender but I just can't carry on anymore. I'm too weak. I can feel my heart slow. I gave my best. I did it for you. I would've given up sooner if it weren't for you. Take care of Sarah. I will love you as my heart aches, 'til the last second I breathe. I await the day I'll see you again. Don't forget me.

Hour Thirty:

Eric, I won! It's over. I'm free. I can't feel the pain anymore. I've fully waken. The memory of that night has passed. I hear the voices of a melodious choir calling out to me. I see the most intense white light luring me into its warmth. I rise from the bed dressed in my wedding gown. All my cuts and bruises have healed. My ring has been returned to my finger. I'm light and am filled with love and hope. The wait is over. We'll now be together. Through the chorus I can barely hear the sound of piercing, long beep coming from the machine once attached to my body.


End file.
